Hurting After Sex With Man With Peyronie's Disease
Peyronie's Question
I was wondering is it common for the woman to feel pain after sex when this disease is present?
My husband gets erections and he has suffered this disease for 6 years now. The problem comes as we make love he feels no pain. I do because of the bent penis. I don't know what to do because I am starting to resent the fact that it is only uncomfortable for me. We have been married 20 yrs. Sex was the best before this and now I feel hurt that I am 18 yrs younger and he is 63 and our sex life is almost an impossible mission.
On the other hand I'm eager to have sex but without the pain! I also believe in fidelity and marriage. Any advice?
My Peyronie's Answer
As I'm not a doctor, and it's mainly men that write to me, I cannot say with certainty if it is common for women to feel pain after sex with man with Peyronie's disease. I can though imagine it depends on the severity of the curvature. My wife tells me she did not experience any pain but then my curvature was not that severe. You don't say how severe your husband's curvature is, or if he has tried to do anything about it.
Most men experience pain in the beginning, i.e. during the acute phase of the disease (usually lasts between 12-18 months). The pain usually disappears when the disease becomes stable. So this explains why your husband does not feel any physical pain.
Peyronie's disease is however very painful for most men, i.e. psychologically. The penis shape, size, and performance is so closely linked to men's self-worth and self esteem. This is why I recommend you treat carefully. I'm not saying you should not address the issue as this has become a problem that needs to be addressed. I'm just saying you need to be careful how you approach it.
I don't know if you have already discussed your feelings with your husband. Or if he has seen a doctor about his condition and had some treatments. But these are the things I would recommend you both look into...
First, talk to your husband. Ask him how he feels about his disease. Tell him gently how you feel. Ask him to see a doctor if he has not done so already. Be supportive. Tell him you are in this together. Ensure him that you love him no matter what, your love has nothing to do with the shape or size of his penis, however, you want to find a way with him for both of you to have a satisfying sexual relationship.
These articles may be helpful read prior to talking to your husband.
Advice For Peyronie's Partners
What Can Peyronie's Partner Do?
Stay intimate. If intercourse is painful for you, look for other ways to be intimate and enjoy your sex life. Use your imagination and consider using sex aids as needed.
These articles may be helpful read in this respect.
How To Be Intimate With Peyronie's
Encourage your husband to see a doctor. There is no cure for Peyronie's disease but there are treatment options. Which options are available to your husband depends on your husband's condition. Try to find an Urologist that has experience of Peyronie's disease (not all have). I cannot recommend a doctor but APDA (Association of Peyronie's Advocates) has a List Of Physician that you may find helpful.
This article offers overview of the Most Common Treatments today and links to more information on my website if interested in finding out more about any of them.
While this article is helpful read prior to Seeing A Doctor.
You and your husband are not alone. You may find it helpful to read about other men experience. There are some inspiring Peyronie's Stories on my website.
You or your husband may also find Peyronie's Forums helpful, just keep the pros and cons in of forums like this in mind before visiting them. The article also includes links to the most active forums.
You may also want to seek a professional help. Or even both of you, e.g. see a marriage counselor. Because Peyronie's disease is a challenge to any relationship but it does not, and should not, be allowed to destroy good relationships. If handled correctly it can even make a good relationship better. And you have taken the first important step by reaching out for help. That is exactly what good spouses do.
I hope this is some help but feel free to contact me anytime if you think I can be of any assistance. You can also tell your husband that he can contact me anytime if he wants.
I wish you both all the best.
Kind regards,
Birgir
