How Peyronie's Affects Partners
It is important to remember that Peyronie's affects partners too. In many ways, Peyronie's can affect your partner's life just as much as yours.
Obviously, your sex life is likely to be affected. As importantly, your home life could be affected too. In this article I explain the emotions your partner is likely to experience and why it is important to understand them.
Emotionally your partner may be experiencing many of the same feelings as you do.
She might try to hide her feelings from you to save your feelings. This can lead to resentment in the long run as most women like (and need) to talk about their feelings.
Of course Peyronie's affects partners in many and different ways, but the better you understand your partners feelings and needs, the better chance you have of getting through Peyronie's together... most likely feeling stronger as a couple.
This small study by Canadian researchers shows that Peyronie's does affect Peyronie's partners as well and encourages healthcare providers to consider both members of a couple when treating this condition.
How Peyronie's Affects Partner Feelings
Your woman is likely to be feeling many of the same emotions as you are. She is likely to be anxious, frustrated, angry… she may even become depressed.
She may also feel hopeless and inadequate. Because she does not know how to help you, cure you, take care of you.
She may be desperate to support you but have no idea how to go about it. Women can feel very vulnerable and helpless when they feel they cannot do anything for the person they love.
She might blame herself for your condition, as she is likely to find out that Peyronie's can be caused by injury from sexual intercourse.
Under no circumstances, never ever, blame your partner for your Peyronie's (or yourself for that matter).
The only way to guarantee that you will not get Peyronie's through intercourse is not to have sex. That was never an option, was it?
Make sure you both move quickly and swiftly on from any thoughts of blame, it does absolutely nothing to help you dealing with your Peyronie's.
While men with Peyronie's may feel ashamed over the shape of their penis or fear failing to perform during sex, their partners may fear rejection.
This is more likely to be the case if you do not involve your wife from the beginning. She may easily interpret your sudden reluctance in bed as you have lost sexual interest in her, that you are rejecting her as a sexual being. This again emphasizes how important it is to communicate clearly when dealing with Peyronie's disease.
Of course, you may also be afraid of your partner rejecting you or leaving you. However, as long as your relationship is reasonably solid to begin with, your partner is much more likely to be willing to support you, than leave you.
She might though not know how to do it. Especially if you don't let her in, if you don't tell her how you feel and how she can support you.
How Peyronie's Affects Partners Needs
Allow your partner to support you, it is likely to be very important to her. However, never forget that Peyronie's affects partners too. Your wife has feelings and needs too.
Never assume you know how your partner feels. Ask her and listen to what she has to say.
You are likely to benefit from it as much as she is. Because how she feels may be very different from how you think she feels. Talking is the best way to eliminate any possible damaging misconceptions.
When going through Peyronie's together, your partner will be supporting you in any way she can and you should be supporting her in any way you can. For your wife, being able to talk about her feelings and needs is likely to be the best support you can give her.
If the two of you don't like talking “too much” about Peyronie's together, then consider “allowing” her to talk to someone else. Someone she can trust, like trusted friend or even a professional if needed.
Of course, she doesn't need your permission to talk but she might not feel comfortable talking about your Peyronie's unless you “allow” her or encourage her to do so. Always remember, Peyronie's is nothing to be ashamed of.
Your partner may also benefit from reading through the Peyronie's Partners section, where I address her directly, i.e. what can the she do to support you and what support / advice is available to her as your partner.
The better you understand how Peyronie's can affect your partner, the better chance the two of you have of getting through this together. Respect your partner's feelings and needs and involve her in your fight against Peyronie's.
