23 Year Old Struggling With Peyronie's
I first realized something was wrong at 13 years old. I had been lying on my stomach in bed, and I remember feeling and hearing a "pop" sound during an erection. I had no idea what it was, and dismissed it. The next day while using the bathroom, I noticed a visible hourglass shape in my flaccid penis. As a 13 year old boy, this was traumatic. Coupled with fordyce spots, and a varicocele on my testicle, my newest problem--peyronies--would end up being my worst enemy, and a life long companion.
I went through my entire teenage life afraid of sexual contact. My penis is slightly below average (5.2 x 4.4), but my compulsive obsession with searching the internet for answers in lieu of doctors caused me constant anxiety. As a teenager, the last thing you want to do is tell your parents something is "wrong" down there. My GP never realized the condition during checkups, and it was not until I was 20 that I spoke up about it.
Some background on my peyronies: I have about a 40 degree curve upwards with a bend to the left. The hourglass deformity rears its head in cold conditions, but there is always a slight bulge in the middle/bottom of my shaft from where the scar tissue formed.
Fast forward to my 20s. I finally had the guts to tell my parents what was wrong, and my dad, who is an oncologist, had me see the chief of urology at his hospital. That is when I received my first official diagnosis. It was a relief, in a way, to finally know it WAS peyronies. My parents had told me they doubted anything serious was wrong, and that I was exaggerating. But this was evidence that I have a very real condition, both a painful one mentally and physically.
Up until a few weeks ago, at 23 years old, my sexual experience was minimal. I finally lost my virginity to a wonderful, supportive girl. However, sex for me hurts--and she knows it. It was always my biggest fear, and now it's a reality, and I am afraid to lose her because of it. Aside from my peyronies, my penis is also extremely rigid, and cannot bend parallel with the floor (it's restricted, comfortably, to about a 45 degree angle from my torso). Through sexual experiences so far with my girl friend, missionary is only possible if the angle is absolutely perfect, and after 5 minutes becomes painful. Doggy style and cowgirl remain impossible.
I am at a true crossroads of my life. I don't know if I should seek treatment. I am afraid, and feel alone in my condition. I always heard of peyronies affecting men later in life, but I have had it before I even started masturbating. I sat in my bed in tears with my girlfriend next to me, because I was unable to maintain an erection, and sex was incredibly painful. I don't know what to do. I hope someday in the near future to seek treatment, but surgery terrifies me. I just wish this would go away.
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